Lilin

Feb. 15th, 2015 02:38 pm
fallegurmorgunn: (Default)
I often feel descended from Lilith
Not because she stood up to men,
Not because she was victimized by the patriarchy -
Though I feel those still apply -
But because she was a monster.

A horrible monster feared by every parent.
Mothers would adorn their children with charms
Just to keep her away.
A woman that was destruction,
That was lust,
That was sin incarnate.

Yes, I must have been descended from Lilith.
That is where my monstrous form comes from.
That is why the world hates me.
That is why they do everything they can to degrade me.
They demonize me because I am demon-spawn.
I am one of my Mother’s foul children,
Born to be the sin of the world.

And indeed, just as her curse dictates
Her children perish by the hundreds.
fallegurmorgunn: (Default)
My hair was so pretty that day,
Oh you should’ve seen it, you should have seen it.
My skin was so smooth on that day,
Oh you should’ve felt it, you should have felt it.
My voice was so soft on that day,
Oh you should’ve heard it, you should have heard it.

I look in the mirror and feel beautiful and lovable and proud of myself,
But never for long.
fallegurmorgunn: (Default)
There was once a young girl.
When she was just a baby she saw that when her parents played fun games with her they smiled,
So she learned to smile when she was happy.

The girl grew older.
One day she scraped her knee in the park, and her mother told her that if she smiled it would hurt less,
So she learned to smile when she was sad.

She grew older still.
Her mother made it clear that she should smile when she passed people in the street, even if she didn’t know them,
So she learned to smile when she didn’t feel anything at all.

So now the girl, almost a woman, smiled all the time.
Her mother would talk about her to other people and say,
“Look at my happy child, always bright and smiling!”
And the girl would smile for the people,
Even though it made her mouth sore.

But life is difficult for a growing girl,
And so there came a time when she felt truly awful.
She tried to tell her mother, but she only replied,
“Nonsense! If you feel so bad, why are you always smiling?”
So the girl said nothing more.

One day she was all on her lonesome, still troubled.
She cried, but even while she was crying she kept smiling;
She had forgotten how not to smile.
Her mother asked if something was wrong.
She said no.

The girl decided to smile more strongly,
And then hopefully she would feel better.
She smiled with all her the strength her heart could muster.
Her teeth splintered and stabbed into her gums,
But she kept on smiling.

Then eventually the girl who always smiled
Met a girl who seemed to always frown.
The girl who always smiled tried to talk to the girl who always frowned,
But the girl who always frowned said,
“Go away! What would you know? You’re always so happy!”
Then, meekly, the girl who always smiled opened her lips to show her bloody and splintered insides,
And the girl who always frowned understood.

The two became fast friends, talking all the time.
The girl who always smiled opened up as she never had before.
One day, while she was talking to her dear friend,
The girl who always smiled cried a pained cry, a real cry, the cry she had always needed.
And the girl who always frowned listened and comforted her.
Until the girl who always smiled stopped crying, and then stopped smiling.
She frowned.

And she had never been happier.
February 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 2015

Most Popular Tags

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Style Credit

Page generated May. 22nd, 2025 03:56 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios